This Bud's For You...

This Bud's for you Mr. Gym Zit-Popper Guy.  Let me preface this entry by stating that I enjoy popping a zit as much as the next guy... well, probably more.  And I have also probably been guilty of popping a zit at the gym.  You know it happens.  As you are trying to discreetly watch other people in the never-ending funhouse mirrors on the wall, you see a zit on your arm or shoulder and quickly pop it.  No big deal.

What I witnessed last night at the gym was such a blatant diregard for gym zit-popping etiquette, I had half a mind to go drop a 50lb dumbell on his toe.  While I was deadlifting the weight equivalent of a Toyota Prius, I glanced around the weight room and immediately spotted the perpetrator.  He was standing in the middle of the weight room (not in the locker room where his actions may have been overlooked) with his arm contorted behind his back like he was Houdini in a muscle shirt.  His left arm was reaching all the way across his body to attack the volcano on his right shoulder and his neck was so strained he looked like he was doing his best owl impression.

Now this is where Zit-Popping Etiquette (ZPE) comes in.  In order for me to let him get away with the gym zit pop, the following criteria must be met:

1. The zit must be in a position where you can easily get to it.  No back zits.  And you defintiely can't approach the gym mirror like it is the one above your bathroom sink. 
2. It must be a small zit.  No giant ones that will ooze or even spray when popped.
3. The entire process can take no longer than 3 seconds.

What I saw was a direct violation of the three main ZPE laws.  As I said, he was contorted, meaning the zit was not in a acceptable area.  The zit was huge and I think he popped it more than once.  The whole ordeal went on for 30-45 seconds.  I can't say for certain how long it lasted b/c I watched in utter disbelief for a while before I started timing it.  He then wiped his hands on his shorts, checked the wound in the mirror, and grabbed the handle on the cable machine.  All I can say is I wish I had video.  I was tempted to grab the spray bottle of disinfectant and a towel and hand it to him.  But I didn't.  I chose to laugh to myself when a girl eagerly grabbed the handle when he was done.

So this Bud' for you Mr. Gym Zit-Popper Guy.  Thanks for making my trip to the gym last night much more entertaining.